This dilemma is familiar to each of us in personal life, career and business. This question, we ask ourselves many times, in our life cycles. This question arises in our personal lives, in our relationships, in our career, in the business world, in our customers, in the products and services we sell / sell.

Our initial reaction that has a positive correlation and association is, of course, to fight, not to give up, to prove that I am right. On the face of it, it is right to think so, but as in every situation in life there are limited resources, and each of them has a price. When I fight, when I do not give up, I perceive myself and her surroundings as a determined person, a man who works steadily, connected to myself, I do not give up easily, I do not break, I am strong.

Sometimes, not always, of course, it will be true to release, the known and known place, the old and old worldviews, which until now have been right for me, to store all the energies I have, and to direct resources to another new channel.

From childhood, our basic education deals with the need to cope in every situation, to invest all the energies in order to succeed, to struggle and not to give up even if we fail. The world’s greatest success stories deal with people who never gave up, even though they failed.

The values ​​of competitiveness, achievement, exhaustion of abilities, coping, war on principles, proof of justice, uncompromising struggle for the justness of the road. All of these must have nothing negative in the way they fit me and match my basic values, my connection to inner happiness, my satisfaction with myself, my ability to look in the mirror and be content.

Einstein defined the stupidity of people who try to do the same thing and look forward to different results.

The dilemma of when to fight and when to release – fight or let it go. Does not come from a place of weakness, on the contrary it comes from a place of power

We face this career dilemma:

• When we are interested in the job and someone else is chosen.
• When we are stuck in the promotion of the organization in which we work.
• When we are not evaluated and / or have an opportunity from our manager.
• When we have constant criticism of our functioning.
• When we are not happy in our business.
• When we do not feel that we are making a mark and we are meaningful where we are. And more …

We face this dilemma as a business owner:

• When the business does not rise.
• When there is a drop in the demand for products / services we sell.
• When we are unable to cope with competition (this usually happens with when new players enter the market).
• When things no longer work like before.
• When changes occur, in competition, in trends, in technology, and we do not flow with them.

We encounter this dilemma in personal life in relationships:

• Relations between parents and children, in relationships, in personal friendships.
• When relationships do not flow, when we experience that we give more and receive less, when we are hurt and / or angry in aggregate.
• When we are not appreciated.
• When we feel betrayed.
• When we are not contributing to the relationship or the contribution is small and marginal.
• When we do not experience mutual fertilization. And more ……

When I fight, I turn all the resources necessary to succeed in realizing my dream goal, or, proving that I deserve to be where I aspire. Or to prove I was right. This thinking produces results only if I act from my authentic place, reading the map of reality with which I am coping, and understanding what profit / outcome I wish – what will my life look like in relationships, career and business after I succeed, what will be the difference? My inner happiness, my satisfaction with myself, and whether the struggle / war / coping is in line with my basic values. And what price I am likely to pay if I do not succeed. If I did not take one or more components into the account, if things do not work as I expected.

Along with the great success stories in the world, there are also the huge falls of companies that did not read the map and continued to act as if nothing had changed, of politicians and leaders who did not recognize and of each of us in personal life, personal relationships we did not expect the price required of us or the response of the other .

When I release and turn to another avenue, I open myself to new and additional possibilities. I also take the risk of turning to a new direction, a new place, a new connection, the element of the unknown, the uncertainty in many cases a challenge accompanied by apprehension.

In most cases the choice to struggle is our conditioned habit of childhood. Fight that I’m right. In any case, one must consider and understand what I will gain from war if I choose it.

There are sentences that accompany us from childhood such as:

• You have to fight, you must prove you are right.
• You’re talented, you can get anything you want.
• Only perseverance and determination and devotion to purpose solve everything.
• I’m going to fight for this job, because I’m most suited to fill it.
• I continue to fight and will not give up, I will prove to everyone that I will succeed.

Giving up is a weakness. You must not be weak.

• I will prove to everyone that they must appreciate me.
• I will prove that I am worth more.

Less and less we are used to sentences such as:

• I release because it is important for me to be happier.
• I release and go on a new adventure.
• I’m going to be connected to what I really love doing.
• I release the familiar place to get a new opportunity.
• I release because it is clear to me that I will be able to bring myself to a better place elsewhere, instead of with another DNA, in another environment.

Similar sentences are heard in areas such as health and relationships.

What is right? This question and the answer to it have no school recipe.

I have come across this question, the dilemma, and the coping with this, often in my life and even many times in the lives of my clients, business and private.

This dilemma always arises when things do not go according to what you planned.

This dilemma is essentially an emotional dilemma wrapped in a rational disguise. In most cases I am for myself and you know the answer and I do not like it many times.

Sometimes we tend to interpret the possibility of releasing as weakness and the decision to fight as power, as strength. Is this the truth ?! Deciding whether to fight or release is certainly an important and significant decision when you are in the situation.

To deal with the question, a number of steps are required. Recommend you to put them in writing:

1. Understanding reality and analyzing the situation.

• Who is involved?
• What is your status in the specific situation?
• What will happen if you let things run themselves.
• What change is important to you to perform and / or lead.
• What other expected steps are involved to take.
• The most difficult question in analyzing the situation (as always) Is this the truth? In order to know this, facts that are not disputed or interpreted by you or others should be listed separately.

2. Scenarios

• Build at least 4 scenarios for each alternative and do not compare them.
• 4 scenarios in case of focusing all forces and energies in struggle / coping / war
• 4 scenarios in case of release / waiver / redirection of forces, energies and resources to the channel
• 4 scenarios
• Very positive – the most positive picture description for me and its meanings. What is the expected profit from success, what strengths and resources and abilities and skills I bring with me, what benefits and value added will help me to succeed and realize.
• The reasonable scenario – defining the meaning of the reasonable scenario. Advantages and disadvantages, chances against risks, strengths and weaknesses.
• The lesser evil – the description of the scenario of the lesser evil, what is the meaning of the lesser evil, what are the different options, how do I prepare, what price I will have to pay and how I am
• Facing it. Is it worth it or worth it. How will I cope with the partial disappointment?
• The most negative – describe in detail the negative scenario, how it looks, tried to build

A scenario in which everything went wrong. Everything worked against me, do not be afraid to write down everything that comes to mind,

This will make it easier for you when you reach the decision-making stage. How do I prepare to deal with this whatever happens.

• In every scenario try to be creative and at your best.
• It is important that the scenarios allow you to visualize the great profit / benefits along with the prices and meanings required.

3. Imagine yourself in 20 years looking at the situation / situation, what your future self is

Would tell you or suggest the right way to choose right now. If you are not used to doing so imagine a similar situation from 20/10 years ago. A situation that at that time seemed very significant and critical to you. What do you say to that man in your past today, how do you look at that situation 20 years ago?

4. Now go to the decision, what is best for you, what is most right for you, what resources you invest will make you happier, complete with yourself,

What in retrospect 20 years from now will seem to you to be the right decision.

5. Good luck